RSVP For 8th Annual JW Kickball & Kegger Fest

All of John's family, friends, classmates, friends of family, friends of friends and any and all who love life the way John did are invited to the 8th annual beer cup kickball game and kegger to be held on the day after John's 38th birthday, June 21, 2014.

The party begins at 2:00 pm with kegs, soda, and appetizers.

The kickball game begins at 4:00 pm.

The food fest begins at 5:00 pm.

Live music!

Activities for children of all ages including moon bounce for kids and kiddie pools (bring children's swimsuits).

The festivities continue until whenever.

RSVP by clicking here.

An Easter Time Requiem For JW

As indicated in this post, shortly after John's death, we somehow brought ourselves to listen to Vin Scelsa's show from April 7th on WFUV in New York. We have always regarded it as a fitting requiem for John, especially since part of it was recorded that fateful Saturday afternoon. For me, it's opening song, Judy Collin's version of the Bob Dylan song "Just Like Tom Thumb's Blues" has forever since been indelibly associated with that day.

This past Saturday, the Saturday before Easter, which for us is a truer anniversary of John's death than is the calendar date of April 7th, Vin managed to build his entire two hour show around that one song which has so much meaning for us.  If you want to share in the experience, simply click on this link and have a listen.  

When you’re lost in the rain in Juarez

And it’s Easter time too

And your gravity fails

And negativity don’t pull you through

...

Everybody said they’d stand behind me

When the game got rough

But the joke was on me

There was nobody even there to call my bluff

I’m going back to New York City

I do believe I’ve had enough

... "And" Yet Another Renewal

For those not familiar with it, central to JW's memorial at John's parents' home in Southern Maryland is a bench under the shade of three cherry trees identical to those surrounding the Tidal Basin in Washington, DC. One of John’s last days was spent lying with his fiancé under the cherry trees at the Tidal Basin while they were in full bloom. The intent was that his memorial should forever bloom on or around the anniversary of his death as a sign of hope, renewal and salvation. 

As a sign of the unusually cold winter and spring experienced this year, the trees have bloomed their latest yet, having peaked yesterday.

The full story behind JW's memorial can be found here.  To see how his memorial has grown over the years, go to these links for 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012 and 2013 (and note the differences in when the cherry blossoms bloom each year.  For the record, in 2007 they peaked on April 1st). 

More "and ..."

Recall this earlier post where I wrote about Roger Rosenblatt's reflections in his book Kayak Morning several years after the death of his adult daughter.  In this book, Rosenblatt quotes the Irish short story writer, Sean Ó Faoláin, as saying "that 'and' was the most hopeful word in the English language."

It is in that context that I can make the earlier post today AND this post of the very same day -- on the anniversary of John's death seven years ago.  Those seven years have proven to be nothing but one continuous "and" with JW somehow, someway being a big part of everything that encompassed that "and."  For instance, see the below pictures of John's namesake, the seventh John Leonard in successive generations, aka Bentley!

A Post for April 7th

Broken Circle Breakdown -- a Belgian film about a pickup driving Flemish couple from Ghent with a passion for American bluegrass music who loose their child to cancer -- singing Townes Van Zandt's "If I Needed You" -- somehow seems appropriate on this April 7th. Click on image below to take you to the Vimeo site to view the video (can't embed on blog).



If I Needed You - Johan Heldenbergh & Veerle Baetens - The Broken Circle Breakdown from Menuet on Vimeo.

Then see also this version of "The Wayfaring Stranger":

A Day of Commemoration

Today, for the second time in seven years, on the eve of the 7th anniversary of JW's death, John's mom & dad went to a donor family gathering sponsored by theWashington Regional Transplant Community.  It seems entirely fitting at this time of year to attend a gathering intended to recognize and remember the tremendous gift of life which JW and others made possible by the donation of their organs and tissues.  We heard several donation recipients recount first-hand the impact such donations had on them and their families.  

As a reminder, John's heart was transplanted into a 57 year-old retired realtor. He is married, has four children, and two grandchildren. He was on the waiting list for three days prior to transplant. He suffered from Idiopathic dilated cardiomyopathy (IDC), a disease of unknown cause that results in an enlarged heart that does not pump properly. His transplant was a success, and he is in good condition. He is looking forward to returning to some of his favorite hobbies, which include cooking and telling stories to his grandchildren. He is very happy and grateful for this gift of life that John gave him.

John's liver and left kidney were both gifted to a 56 year-old married man who lives in Virginia. Prior to receiving his transplant, he suffered from a non-alcoholic steatohepatitis (NASH) liver disease which is fatal. He was on dialysis for two weeks, and he was on the waiting list for five months. Although he suffered some minor setbacks, his transplant was a success. John's recipient enjoys spending time with his family doing leisure activities. He is very grateful for this second chance at life that John has given to him.

John's pancreas and right kidney was gifted to a 53 year-old woman. She is a retired Verizon employee who has one child and one grandchild. Prior to receiving these precious gifts, she suffered from diabetes. She was on dialysis for nine months, and on the waiting list for seven months. The transplant was a success and John's recipient is in good condition. She enjoys sewing and solving puzzles. She appreciates John's precious gifts.
JW, of course, has had a tremendous impact on others in so many different ways and we are glad to have had the opportunity to participate in honoring this one aspect of his legacy.  Besides, there aren't too many other places where you can be surrounded by hundreds of people where being the parent of a deceased child is, unfortunately, the norm.

Today we also celebrated the 4th birthday of John's niece, Ariana -- as well as the 35th birthday of John's little brother.  Fitting commemorations all around!  Without a doubt, John is so proud.

A Mark of Rememberance

When in high school, JW was interested in many things, to include getting his ear pierced and getting a tattoo. John's Dad, although a product of the 1960's, tended to be a tad more conservative when it came to such mutilations of the body. For example, John's Dad would always agree to JW getting his ear pierced, as long as he allowed his Dad to do it using a hammer and nail out on the work bench in the garage. So it was no surprise that, on his post-high school graduation trip to Ocean City, JW came back with his ear pierced.

It was shortly thereafter that John went and got a tattoo. If memory serves correctly, it was when one of his best friends, Keith, came to visit. Although the summer time, the recollection is of JW coming back home with a long sleeved shirt, somewhat trepidatious about letting his Dad see the tattoo. A photo from Keith's visit is below -- it must have been JW's 18th birthday.

John's tattoo was of the biohazard symbol. It was from the hardcore punk/heavy metal band named Biohazard and the symbol can be seen below.

John's tattoo can be clearly seen in the very same picture which eventually became his prayer card. It is the picture taken of John along the Inca Trail in the middle of a three day hike over two 13,000 ft. peaks on the way to Machu Picchu in the Peruvian Andes. It was chosen for his prayer card because the picture captures the pride and sense of accomplishment John had, both for the successful hike as well as for living a life well-lived.

Well, after almost seven years of thinking about it, and with the encouragement of John's little sis, John's Dad finally took the plunge and got his own biohazard tattoo. Same tattoo, same position on the arm.

Not to be outdone, John's sis also got her own tattoo. It's a four leaf clover with JW's initials in the middle.

Not that anything is required to remember -- but the tattoo is a fitting remembrance that brings a faint smile to my face many times a day -- it is so John!

Another Addition to the Pantheon of JW Quilts by Mom

John's mom recently completed yet another quilt made, in part, from the remnants of JW's clothing.  This time, the quilt was for one of John's best friends, Keith, on the occasion of his birthday.  Some insight into the depth of John's and Keith's friendship can be found at this earlier post.

The theme of the quilt reflected where JW and Keith first met, at Brussels American School when we had the opportunity to live in Belgium in the late 80's and early 90's. As you can see on the quilt, the school's nickname is the Brigands. John spent his first two years of high school there as part of the class of 1994.  In fact, that class is celebrating its 20th anniversary this year and information regarding their plans can be found at this link.

The first picture below of Keith holding the quilt has been added to the pantheon of all the JW quilts John's mom has made over the post seven years, with many more to come.

A Good St. Patrick's Day to Ya

2005 -- the year JW's little brother came back from his year-long deployment to Iraq -- the three Leonard kids returned to the land of their ancestors to celebrate in Dublin St. Patrick's Day and Mike's safe return from combat.  It is always heart-warming to us to know that our three children are not only siblings, but best friends as well, an obvious conclusion after watching the below slideshow to the music of Dropkick Murphy singing "Johnny We Hardly Knew Ye."

I'd imagine that in heaven, everyday is St. Patrick's Day.

A good St. Patrick's Day to ya, Johnny.

Save the Date

A special invite goes out to all of John's friends and classmates from Brussels American School and St. Mary's Ryken High School Classes of '94 who are celebrating their 20th anniversary this year! (click on image to enlarge) To read about last year's fest and to see pictures, go to this link.

Things

 We know that life is not defined by things, yet things turn out to be so important.  Read this compelling New York Times piece and see the attendant comment in the below image (click on to enlarge).

A Notable Centennial

JW fulfilled many important roles -- one of which included being the first grandchild in the Leonard - DiStefano clan.

Today is the 100th anniversary of the birth of JW's "Mamaw" who was awarded the moniker because JW could not pronounce grandma.  John made "Mrs. D" a grandmother and, of course, Mamaw helped make JW the man he became.

We miss you both.

Making of the Aunts' Quilts

Per this earlier post, below is a photo album regarding the making of the Aunt Quilts. Click on the album to view.



Making of the Aunt Quilts

The Warmth of a Mother's Love, continued

Once again, John's mom passed along a symbol of JW's warmth and love in the form of guilts made, in part, from the remnants of John's clothes.  These quilts (below) were presented to JW's three aunts and have been added to the pantheon of "Quilts of JW by Mom" on the right hand side of this blog's home page.

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving - A special time of the year that causes each of us to stop and reflect upon all that we have for which to be thankful.  For many, Thanksgiving is about family. So it is for John's family.

John's sis has never missed a Thanksgiving at home.  His brother has missed several over the years, but only because he was deployed somewhere fighting one god-forsaken war or another or otherwise engaged by the U.S. Army.  John missed but one, when he flew out to San Diego with his brother to pick up his brother's car which had been shipped there after his brother was transferred by the Army from Germany to Ft. Huachuca in Arizona.

A photo from Thanksgiving, 2006 (John's last) is below.

Thanksgiving - painful yet still special, especially reflecting upon Thanksgivings past when John always made it a point to be home. We miss you, guy -- as much as ever.

To see how this special time of the year was handled the year JW died, click here.

Renewal / Demise

JW's Memorial 

The Bottomless Pool

John's parents went back to the Kennedy Center last night.  Due to scheduling conflicts, John's Mom & Dad arrived separately.  John's Dad walked from the Metro and thus crossed Virginia Avenue on the way to the Kennedy Center.  He walked past what is now a large dormitory for George Washington University. See photo below:

This building used to be a Howard Johnson's Motor Lodge.  John's parents and JW (and his little bro) stayed there in 1981 while John's Dad went to a training course at the Washington Navy Yard.  The below image from a postcard conveys how the motor lodge, which opened in 1962, was considered "ultra-modern" with a rooftop swimming pool overlooking the Potomac:

In any event, somehow, John's Dad convinced JW that the depth of the rooftop swimming pool went all the way down to the first floor of the hotel.  After that, we had a hard time convincing JW to jump into the pool again.

The District is just full of John Memories as indicated here and here.

btw -- this Howard Johnson's became famous when it was used as a lookout point for the Watergate burglaries back in 1972.

Birthday Images Redux

Celebrating his birthday yesterday with JW's niece and nephew, John's Dad sent some pictures halfway around the world to John's bro in Afghanistan.  Included was this one showing John's Dad planting a kiss on the head of JW's nephew and namesake:

Leave it to John's bro to make the following observation:

The above picture reminded me of the one from John's birthday at the house in Maryland out on the deck...I think Mom was kissing him on the head in the same pose!!  And I think John had the same look on his face that Bentley does in this picture.

Check out the below picture and come to your own conclusion:

... And the World Keeps Movin' On

Recall the earlier post which talked about the CVS in Adams Morgan being the last place JW went to in his old neighborhood just before he died. Inevitably, for better or worse, the world does keep movin' on as indicated in the pictures below -- the first being the CVS as it appeared back in 2007; the second as it appeared about six months ago; and the third as it appears today as the old CVS (which was actually a part of the old Ontario Theater on Columbia Road) has recently been razed for a new complex of condominiums to be built, as depicted in the fourth picture. Change ... destruction .... renewal .... among the few things in life you can be assured of.  Yet, while Adams Morgan may change, our fond memories of JW are forever.

Cheerios v. Puffs

In the House of God, which prevails, Cheerios or Puffs?

Taking John's niece and nephew to Mass today, I was reminded of a memorable experience w/JW and how we get so much wiser as we get older.  

As all parents learn, when you want to keep a one-year-old quiet for a period of time such as an hour-long Mass, the best option is always food.  For JW, it was a small container of dry Cheerios.  For his nephew and namesake, it's Puffs.  

Thirty-six years ago, we were attending Epiphany Parish in Brick, NJ.  It was a brand new parish - thus, it did not even have it's own church building. Instead, Sunday Mass was held in the gym of the local high school. 

Today, we attended Mass at St. Francis of Assisi Parish, a Franciscan parish in Triangle, VA.  And instead of Cheerios, John's nephew had Puffs. 

Way back when, somehow, in the middle of Mass, JW managed to drop the entire bowl of Cheerios on the gym floor.  Being a smooth wood floor, the Cheerios went flying anywhere and everywhere to the notice of just about everyone.  There was no way to gracefully recover from such an event.  

Puffs, of course, are much lighter. In addition, the church today had carpeting rather than wood floors.  Most important of all, John's nephew's grandparents gave him only two puffs at a time, rather than a whole bowlful. 

Much has changed, not the least of which is the wisdom of John's parents.  

Photos of JW and his namesake at comparable ages are below.