What a Difference Eight Years Makes

2008

 2015

For those not familiar with it, central to JW's memorial at John's parents' home in Southern Maryland is a bench under the shade of three cherry trees identical to those surrounding the Tidal Basin in Washington, DC. One of John’s last days was spent lying with his fiancé under the cherry trees at the Tidal Basin while they were in full bloom. The intent was that his memorial should forever bloom on or around the anniversary of his death as a sign of hope, renewal and salvation. 

As a sign of the unusually cold winter and spring experienced this year, the trees have bloomed their latest yet, having peaked today (April 11th last year).  

The full story behind JW's memorial can be found here.  To see how his memorial has grown over the years, go to these links for 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013 and 2014 (and note the differences in when the cherry blossoms bloom each year.  For the record, in 2007 they peaked on April 1st). 

April 7th

Like all April 7ths, today was rather aimless for me.  I decided to go to work because it was as good a place as any to spend the day.  A few there know the significance of the date -- most do not.

After Mass at Noon, I  decided to walk to the Watergate at the foot of the Lincoln Memorial.  It had been four years since I had come here on this particular date.  I wrote about that visit here which is where I explained the significance of this spot.  It is, in essence, the spot where John's spirit left this world for the next.  It is here that John experienced irreversible brain stem compression resulting in brain death as he lay in the back of an ambulance transporting him to the hospital in DC.

I almost decided not to go today because the forecast was for imminent showers.  I figured it was a dreary enough day without slogging through the rain.

Go I did, however, making my way through the throngs of tourists experiencing our nation's capital on their spring break -- including lots of families with young children going to museums on the Mall as well as older veterans making their way to the WWII and the Vietnam Memorials.  As I got nearer to the Lincoln Memorial I felt a warmth overcome me and it took a few seconds for me to recognize that it was the sun beaming down on me.  Rather than the predicated rain, I looked up and saw in an otherwise cloud-filled sky a patch of blue sky through which the sun brightly shone.

Thus, when I got to the terraced steps on the Watergate and sat down, unlike my visit in 2011 and unlike April 7, 2007, I was not at this very spot in the gloomy darkness of night.  Rather, while there were clouds all around me, there was also the brightness of the life nurturing power of the sun directly overhead.

As such, this spot once again proved to be a fitting symbol of the past eight years -- one of the many lessons of life I have learned.  Specifically, that much as we may think joy and grief are opposites, they can actually exist side-by-side.  They are both manifestations of profound love.  And while I will forever grieve John's death, I have also been blessed with great joy over the past eight years -- to include the marriage of Mike & Gina, the birth of our grandchildren, Jes meeting and falling in love with Donny, and getting to celebrate 40 years of marriage with the woman I love as much today as I ever did.

Today is the Tuesday in the Octave of Easter.  The Gospel for today opens with Mary Magdalene staying outside the tomb of Jesus weeping.  Eventually, she recognizes the resurrected Jesus who tells the weeping Mary, "Stop holding on to me...".

It is so hard to let go, but then again we really don't have a choice in the matter because our John, too, had to go to the Father.

Photos from the Watergate from April 7, 2011 and today are below.

As an aside, I walked past the spot on the Mall where JW used to play kickball.  Fittingly enough, the exact spot has been planted with a grove of cherry trees.

A Niece's Easter Message

After Mass this Easter morning, Mom, Dad, Mike, Jes, Gina, Donny, Ariana and Bentley ended up at John's gravesite, two days shy of the eighth anniversary of his death. John's niece, Ariana, left the below note that she penned herself - representing part of her understanding of who John was based upon all the stories she has heard through the years (click on photo to enlarge).

John's love continues through the lives of those who loved him and whom he loved.

John's Love, Con't.

This past weekend, John's mom presented John's brother-in-law to-be (and his little sister's husband to-be) with the latest JW quilt made, in part, from remnants of John's clothing.  Since Donny is from Maine, what better pattern than one of snowflakes. Even better, the reverse of the quilt is a pattern of  lobsters and crabs representing the union of two families, one from the Free State of Maryland and the other from the Pine Tree State of Maine.  The warmth of JW's love is spreading even further than ever before.

This quilt, John's mom's 19th, is added to the pantheon of "The Quilts of JW by Mom" on the right side of this blog.

SAVE THE DATE 6/13/15

From the Mouth of Babes

When asked by her Daddy what was the most memorable part of her Christmas, John's niece, Ariana, responded without any prompting whatsoever about missing her Uncle Johnny.  JW, of course, missed Christmas because he was in Heaven.  She then added that she also missed her Uncle Jim who missed Christmas with Ariana and her family because he was in Mississippi visiting his family.

I've never been to Mississippi (nor have I been to Heaven) but I'm pretty sure that is an unfair comparison.

Uncle Johnny gave Ariana and her brother a tip of the hat as depicted in the lower left corner of the back cover of the annual picture books her MammaReesee & Pop gave them for Christmas.  (See below image of the front and back covers of their books -- click to enlarge.

A Christmas Gift for JW & Me

For Christmas, John's mom gave me a print of a map of Adams Morgan, DC

My first reaction upon unwrapping it was how much of a kick JW would have gotten out of it.

The first home he owned is slightly to the left of dead center in the print.  His condominium was on Belmont Rd. at the corner with Columbia Rd, the heart of Adams Morgan. (Click on the following image to enlarge).

The apartment we have been living in during the week for the past 3 1/2 years is at the corner of Ontario Rd. and Ontario Pl. which can be found to the left of the top of the "A" in "Morgan."

As depicted below, the print has been hung in "John's room" in our basement.

Missing you, guy -- now and always.

The Warmth of JW's Love Continues to Permeate

A special part of the recent commemoration of the 40th wedding anniversary of John's parents was the presentation of three more "Quilts of JW by Mom" made, in part, out of the remnants of John's clothing.  Pictured below are pictures of the quilts presented to Aunt Sue (JW's godmother), Aunt Mary Ann (one of John's mom's oldest friends), and a special surprise of a second quilt to John's dad (to acknowledge, in part, the time he spent "bacheloring" it in DC while JW's mom stayed in Maryland to work on the quilts).  Pictures of the quilts (below) have been added to the pantheon of quilts on the right side of this blog.

Some Whiskey, a Cigar & Lots of Memories

At JW's memorial.

Zoom Zoom

Came across this picture today of JW taking his little sis out for a spin in his Mazda RX-8 sports car.

The car was one of JW's indulgences when he started being up and coming in the world, an indulgence that he eventually sold when he became a little more practical and decided that he could better apply the money to buying a home.  And who did he sell it to but his little brother, of course, who in turn eventually traded it in for a more practical pick-up truck when it came time for him to buy a home.

More than anything, however, this picture depicts JW indulging his sister as he was wont to do

More Quilts of JW by Mom

What better way to commeorate 40 years of marriage than to present to some very special people yet three more quilts made, in part, out of the remnants of JW's clothing.  Over the summer, John's mom has been diligently working on multiple quilts and presented one to Aunt Sue, JW's godmother, and Aunt Mary Ann, her best friend since high school.  Also, as a total surprise, a second quilt was presented to John's dad, in recognition, in part, for the many nights he stayed alone in DC and commuted by bus so that John's mom could stay in Maryland to work on the quilts.  The warmth of JW's love, through his mom, continues to emanate all around (as evidenced by JW's namesake, John Bentley, embracing the quilt in one of the photos below).

Birthdays

For a very real perspective on birthdays, click on this link for an audio clip from an excellent British TV show, Happy Valley, viewable on Netflix.

A Big Part of a Big Day

As John's mom & dad celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary with all those who meant so much to them over the years, John was there in so many ways. He is always near.

JW Continues to Look Over His Little (Big) Sis

Recall this post from over five years ago when we brought JW's home possessions up to Ithaca, NY when John's little sis moved in to a new residence after having been in Ithaca for two years. His possessions in so many different ways reflected John's personality and spirit. As such, it is entirely appropriate that a lot of John's possessions continue to track his sis as she progresses on her life journey.  After four years in Morgantown, WV, Jes is embarking on a year long internship at the VA hospital in Pittsburgh, PA working with veterans of her and her brothers' generation as they adjust after years of constant war.  

John was always very protective and supportive of his little sis, and he continues to do so today by having his personality and spirit accompany her as she continues to move on to the next stage of her life.

Photos of John's possessions in Jes' new apartment (to include the shamrock quilt made by Mom out of remnants of JW's clothing) are below.

JW''s Quilts Keep On Giving

Recently, yet another "Quilt of JW" by Mom was presented to another special person in John's life -- this time, to one of his most enduring friends, Joe.  John knew Joe since the second grade when JW and his family first moved to beautiful Southern Maryland and JW began to attend Mother Catherine Spalding School in Helen.  This quilt, like all it's predecessors, is made, in part, from remnants of John's clothing.  This photo will be added to the pantheon of quilt photos at the lower right of this blog.

The Eldest Becomes the Youngest

Today, John William, the eldest of our children and the dean of his generation of Leonard sibling offspring, becomes our youngest as his little sis, Jes, surpasses him in age.  Our baby, born more than 7 years after her big brother, turns 31 today.  John, who died at 30 years of age, will forever be young in our minds - but will also forever be Jes' and Mike's big brother.

Yet Another JW Quilt

Today, John's mom got to present yet another quilt made, in part, from the remnants of JW's clothes.  This one is for Barbara who we always regarded as John's "second mom" based upon the amount of time he spent at his best friend Joe's home while growing up in Southern Maryland.  The below photo is also added to the pantheon of "The Quilts of JW, by Mom" below, to the right.

8th Annual Fest in Honor of John's Memory

Yesterday was the 8th Annual JW Kickball & Kegger Fest.  Held under threatening skies and faced with competition from conflicting calendars (not to mention the World Cup), attendance was down from previous years.  Nonetheless, the rain held off, the kickball game got underway, the bands played and a good time was had by all.  There were a number of first time attendees (to include John's classmate, Mike, from St. Mary's Ryken High School).  Another first was the BEER TRUCK pictured below:

There was lots of kibitzing:

Kiddie pools for the little ones (to include another first time attendee, Emma):

More kibitzing:

 Of course the proverbial beer cup kickball game:

Plenty of live music:

And singing:

With games late into the night:

All topped off with the proverbial toast to John:

It was a party in true John-style.

Click on the album below to see more pictures.

8th Annual JW Kickball & Kegger Fest

38 Years Ago Today ...

... JW entered our lives -- and we have forever been the richer for it.

JW had a few nicknames. to include Johnny 5, the name of the robot in the 1986 movie Short Circuit (it's one of the reasons why this blog uses the moniker Johnny). In honor of JW's 38th birthday, have a listen to that movie's theme song.

38 Fathers' Days Ago ...

... JW made me a dad for the first time.  As I always said, John was a much better gift than a tie.  I miss you, guy.

RSVP For 8th Annual JW Kickball & Kegger Fest

All of John's family, friends, classmates, friends of family, friends of friends and any and all who love life the way John did are invited to the 8th annual beer cup kickball game and kegger to be held on the day after John's 38th birthday, June 21, 2014.

The party begins at 2:00 pm with kegs, soda, and appetizers.

The kickball game begins at 4:00 pm.

The food fest begins at 5:00 pm.

Live music!

Activities for children of all ages including moon bounce for kids and kiddie pools (bring children's swimsuits).

The festivities continue until whenever.

RSVP by clicking here.