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I-Pads in Action, con't.

Mother Catherine Spalding School recently announced that their 4th grade teacher Mrs. Kelly Rodriguez was the Archdiocese of Washington’s nominee for the Maryland Society for Educational Technology (MSET) Outstanding Educator Using Technology Award.  She received this nomination for her exemplary use of educational technology in the teaching and learning process, specifically with the school’s new classroom set of I-Pads, made possible by John's memorial technology fund as indicated is this and this earlier posts.

JW's Gift Remembered

Today, for the first time, John's mom & dad went to a donor family gathering sponsored by the Washington Regional Transplant Community.  It seems entirely fitting, five years later, to attend a gathering intended to recognize and remember the tremendous gift of life which JW and others made possible by the donation of their organs and tissues.  We heard several donation recipients recount first-hand the impact such donations had on them and their families.  JW, of course, has had a tremendous impact on others in so many different ways and we are glad to have had the opportunity to participate in honoring this one aspect of his legacy.  Besides, there aren't too many other places where you can be surrounded by hundreds of people where being the parent of a deceased child is, unfortunately, the norm.

Breaking in a Quilt Ariana Style

As indicated by the above picture and below video, Ariana got to break-in her Daddy's Uncle Johnny quilt this past weekend at her second birthday party as only a loving niece can.

Also, you can see the latest addition to the blog by scrolling down the right hand side where you will see all the quilts of JW, by Mom.

JW, the Non-conformist

Below is a picture from this past weekend showing JW's brother's, sister's and parents' cars, along with the very first vehicle JW bought on his own -- quess which one was his.

A Brother's Warmth, continued

Continuing a loving tradition, John's mom yesterday presented John's brother, Mike, with yet another quilt made out of remnants of John's clothing, this time in a Virginia Tech motif:

Being next in line, Mike's quilt was not a complete surprise, unlike John's sister-in-law, Gina's, likewise made with John's clothing, this time in a UConn motif:

Once again, future generations will come to know the warmth of JW's love through the loving efforts of John's mom.

And ...

In an earlier post, I wrote about Roger Rosenblatt's reflections in his book Kayak Morning several years after the death of his adult daughter.  In this book, Rosenblatt quotes the Irish short story writer, Sean Ó Faoláin, as saying "that 'and' was the most hopeful word in the English language."

It is five years ago today, also on Holy Saturday, that JW's physical life here on earth came to an abrupt end.  Five years ago that our first born son, a truly loving, thoughtful and giving soul who always made the most out of what he had, died.  It was five years ago that life as we knew it ended.

And ...

Five years later your life as you lived it continues to serve as an inspiration to so many others.  Your love for your family and friends and our love of you continues to have a powerful effect on so many others.  Five years ago today my son, your earthly presence died ...

... and, on Easter Sunday 2007, your ultimate gift of life through the donation of your organs to a number of individuals brought joy to so many families;

... and, from the day of your funeral service (three years to the day before the birth of your first niece), the story of how you lived the last week of your life (even though you did not know it was so) as recounted in your eulogy, served as an impetus for reconciliation with estranged family members for several attendees;

... and, the memorial technology funds established in your memory have raised over $100,000.00 and continue to have a positive impact on so many people;

... and, a tradition that every year celebrates your love of family and friends and camaraderie at the time of your birthday has touched the lives of hundreds of people as indicated here, here, here, here, and here;

... and, you proved to be truly the BEST MAN at Mike & Gina's wedding;

... and, you continued to fulfill the role of big brother and serve as a source of inspiration to your your younger sister and brother;

... and, from your heavenly perch, you fulfill you crucial role as godfather to your niece, Ariana -- the first who gets to call you Uncle Johnny;

... and, through you mom's love and dedication, memories of you will keep members of current and future generations warm through the many quilts made from your cloths;

... and, you have inspired your dad to continue to strive to make a difference in the world if only to contribute a sliver to help fill the void left behind by your untimely demise;

... and, our love of you is as strong and powerful as ever, and cannot be diminished, even by death;

... and ...

April 7th

Surprised by joy -impatient as the wind
I turned to share the transport - Oh! with whom
But Thee, deep buried in the silent tomb,
That spot which no vicissitude can find?
Love, faithful love, recalled thee to my mind -
But how could I forget thee? Through what power,
Even for the least division of an hour,
Have I been so beguiled as to be blind
To my most grievous loss? - That thought's return
Was the worst pang that sorrow ever bore
Save one, one only, when I stood forlorn,
Knowing my heart's best treasure was no more;
That neither present time, nor years unborn,
Could to my sight that heavenly face restore.

William Wordsworth (1770-1850), written in the aftermath of the death of his three-year-old daughter.

Five Years Ago Today, continued

Per the below posts:

On Wednesday (five years ago), John was not much better. Yet, out of concern that he had taken too much time off from work and out of commitment and loyalty to his job and in recognition that others depended upon him, John went to work that day. Nonetheless, the pain was too great and he had to leave early and go home.

On Thursday, John tended to his own needs and went to an orthopedic specialist as recommended by the ER. Nonetheless, by Thursday night, the pain was too great and once again John called Alex who this time took him to another ER. Fortunately, she also called us and we immediately drove up arriving about midnight on Friday morning (five years ago today). We are eternally grateful that Alex called us when she did, because it allowed us to spend John's last 24 hours or so with him, although we did not know it at the time.

John proceeded to spend the next 2O hours in the ER. Notwithstanding the pain, prior to being discharged from the ER, John turned to us and said he was sorry for ruining our Friday and he turned to Alex and said he was sorry for making her miss so much work. That's the way John was, even in the moment of his greatest need, he was always thinking of others.

They eventually discharged John from the ER. Although weak and in continued discomfort, John sucked it up and said he still wanted to come home for the weekend.  John was determined to spend the weekend with his family to which we had all looked forward.  And we were determined to nurse John back to health, doing whatever was necessary to help him manage the pain and do the necessary therapy for his neck.

Five Years Ago Today, continued

Per the below post:

Later on Monday (five years ago yesterday), John went to work. He enjoyed his job and his coworkers. But the pain was too great and he had to go home.

Monday night, John celebrated with his true love the first anniversary of their first date.  Although discomforted by the pain, John would not be dissuaded from being with Alex.

On Tuesday (five years ago today), John was too ill to go to work. However, Alex had errands to run, specifically she had to go to the Department of Homeland Security and deal with the bureaucracy there on an immigration issue. Dealing with the bureaucracy is no joy, and I know, being a lifelong bureaucrat myself. Nonetheless, John drove Alex there in order to give her moral support and waited in the car while she battled the bureaucrats. His pain was so great that he climbed into the back of the car to lie down. Nonetheless, he knew that his mom, who is a teacher, was off that week so he called her at home and together they had a wonderful phone conversation that lasted over 30 minutes. Again, much of the discussion centered on the upcoming weekend, when the entire family would be together.

Tuesday night was John’s brother’s birthday. John, Alex, Michael, Gina and Jessica all went out to dinner. John was still in much pain, so much so that at the end of dinner Michael commented how bad John looked and that he should just go home and lie down. But John looked back at his brother and said, “no bro, it's your birthday and we are going to celebrate it."  With that, the five of them went to the Nationals’ ball game that night, which can be a painful experience even in the best of times. Yet, out of loyalty to his brother, John endured the pain and discomfort in order to commemorate his brother's day.

Five Years Ago Today

I know the celestrial calendar is based upon the Sun.  I also know that the determinate calendar for Easter is based upon the Moon.  The two do not coincide; which is why the date of Easter varies so greatly year-to-year. 

JW's earthly death is tied inextricably to both calendars.  We spent the entirely of April 6th with him.  He died on April 7th.  He donated his life saving organs on April 8th.  It just so happens that those dates in 2007 were Good Friday, Holy Saturday, and Easter Sunday, respectively.  Due to the seeming vagaries of both calendars, those dates coincide exactly in 2012.

An essential point to JW's life is that, while he did not know that April 1-7, 2007, was the last week of his life, he nonetheless lived a very holy life during what would prove to be his very last Holy Week.  We should all be so fortunate.

To commemorate the above, this blog will republish pertinent portions from JW's eulogy which was intended to capture the last week of JW's life, the essence of who he was.

The last week of John's life begins on Palm Sunday. John hadn't been feeling well for a while, with a pain in his neck but that Sunday was the first day of the kickball season. John and Alex belonged to a kickball league which played their games on the Washington Mall. John enjoyed it tremendously – he was athletic but he did it mostly for the fun (and drinking afterwards). And while we were surprised when we first heard about a year before that he played kickball (most people give it up after the third grade) we soon found out that initially it was a pretext to get near to Alex. It worked!

In any event, Palm Sunday was a beautiful day and John and Alex went to the Tidal Basin to enjoy the cherry trees, which were in full bloom that day. However, the pain was getting bad for John and he actually had to lie down under the trees. It was a perfect setting for him, since he so enjoyed God's creation and was always in awe of the beauty of nature, especially from all of his world travels. In any event, while lying under the trees, John had a nice long phone conversation with us. We knew he hurt but didn't know how much. Nonetheless, we talked about our plans for the coming weekend. John and Alex were going to come down to our home, along with Michael and Gina as well as Jessica and John's grandparents. We were going to celebrate Easter as well as his brother's birthday which was that Tuesday. John loved being with his family - we have always taken great joy that our children were not only siblings to each other, but best friends as well.

Renewal -- Again

 

  

For those not familiar with it, the story behind JW's memorial can be found here.  To see how his memorial has grown over the years, go to these links for 2008, 2009, 2010 and 2011 (and note how they bloom earlier and earlier each year).

A Good St.Paddy's Day to Ya, JW

Somewhat a tradition for this blog, the posting of a video depicting JW, Mike & Jes on St. Patrick's Day, 2005 in Dublin.

Save The Date!

Life According to Stephen Colbert

The below post makes the following especially apropos in that JW was a great fan of the humor of Stephen Colbert. Thus, it is entirely appropriate that a man who JW admired as humorist would also espouse a profound philosophy of life as he did in a recent NY Times profile when he recounted:

In 1974, when Colbert was 10, his father, a doctor, and his brothers Peter and Paul, the two closest to him in age, died in a plane crash while flying to a prep school in New England. “There’s a common explanation that profound sadness leads to someone’s becoming a comedian, but I’m not sure that’s a proven equation in my case,” he told me. “I’m not bitter about what happened to me as a child, and my mother was instrumental in keeping me from being so.” He added, in a tone so humble and sincere that his character would never have used it: “She taught me to be grateful for my life regardless of what that entailed, and that’s directly related to the image of Christ on the cross and the example of sacrifice that he gave us. What she taught me is that the deliverance God offers you from pain is not no pain — it’s that the pain is actually a gift. What’s the option? God doesn’t really give you another choice.”

I-Pads in Action - Part II

As indicated in the below post, the St. Mary's County local newspaper has published a brief article on JW's Technology fund in action.  Our thanks to all who helped make this entirely fitting remembrance of John a reality.

As a reminder, details regarding JW's current memorial fund can be found here.

I-Pads In Action

The original memorial fund established in John's memory was at his alma-mata elementary school, Mother Catherine Spalding School in Helen, MD.  Earlier blog entries such as here and here gave periodic updates as to the accomplishments achieved with the funds.

Due to the earlier generosity of so many, the fund is still going strong.  Keeping with the intent of the fund to place technology in the hands of the children in the classroom, it was especially exciting to hear that it was recently used to introduce I-Pads into the curriculum for grades 1-8.  Just recently, JW's mom & dad had the opportunity to see the I-Pads in action in the 7th grade science class as well as the 1st grade science lab.  It's hard to realize that even though JW somehow always had the latest gizmo, he never had the opportunity to own an I-Pad himself.  Nonetheless, without a doubt, the big geek is extremely pleased that a lot of little geeks are being fostered in his memory.

Love, Grief -- Grief, Love

Everyone experiences grief, each in our own way.

This blog, in many ways, is intended as a manifestation of love in the face of grief -- love that was, love that is, love that will forever be, love that even death cannot vanquish.

In my foundest hopes, this blog will, from time to time, provide solace to someone enduring grief if only from the perspective that they are not alone. In that context, I just read (in a single sitting) a recently released book on grief and love entitled Kayak Morning in which the author recounts his personal meditations on grief several years after the death of his adult daughter. While much more erudite than this blog, the essence of this book nonetheless encapsulates the blog's objective when it ends with a definition:

Grief.  The State of mind brought about when love, having lost to death, learns to breathe beside it.  See also love.

If so inclined, have a read.  I'll lend you the book

Father/Son Memory Immortalized

Recall this earlier post from almost two years ago which captured a father/son memory just several weeks before John died.  As recounted in that post, "while waiting at the bar for a table, father and son got a good laugh about the recent efforts of then Vice President Dick Cheney's office to abolish John's Dad's official position and his entire organization -- events that would become public several months later."

In some regards, the web is ephemeral.  Only just realizing that some of the public references to that Leonard/Cheney encounter were still available on the Internet, below is a link that gives a spot-on synopsis of what the incident was about and also confirmed for John's dad that when his work became fodder for late-night comedy, it was time to retire from the Federal government.

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

Additional insights into this memory can be found at this link as well as below.

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

As always, thanks for the fond memories, JW. We had a good laugh that night.  Little did we know that what we were talking about and sharing just among ourseleves that evening would become a topic for some of your favorite TV shows!

John's Fund Continues to Grow

Thanks to a very generous donation from John's Aunt Susie and Uncle John, as well as his brother Mike's loving decision to ask that his Christmas gift this year be a donation to John's memorial fund, the fund has now reached almost 90% of its goal.  As a reminder, the purpose of this fund to support the upcoming World Assembly in Lima, Peru this October of the World Movement for Democracy, a global network of democrats, including activists, practitioners, academics, policy makers, and funders, who have come together to cooperate in the promotion of democracy. More details on JW's fund can be found at this link.

Latest Additions to John's Room

Sincere thanks to John's good friends, Cate and Greg, who on a recent trip to Ireland picked up the latest additions to John's Room, some Guinness pub coasters and, most special of all, a Guinness rugby ball!  Just imagine what the first scrum will be like at the next JW Kickball and Kegger fest.

The above were presented to John's mom & dad this past Christmas.  They are sincerely grateful to the goodness and friendship that helps perpetuate John's love of friends and family.

And by the way, mark your calendars now for the next great event on June 23, 2012!

Memory of Christmas Eve Past

This Christmas Eve, John’s Mom and Dad took JW’s brother and sister to a Redskins game at Fedex Field for their Christmas gift.  It was a great time, especially the tailgating and great seats in the first row of the upper deck on the 50 yard line.  It was also a typically frustrating Redskins game, with the Skins somehow losing to the 2-12 Vikings after having beat the Giants twice this season and almost beating the Patriots.  More than anything else, however, it also brought back fond memories of an earlier Christmas Eve Redskins game.

It was Christmas Eve, 2005 – JW’s penultimate Christmas and his last spent at home (in 2006, he spent Christmas w/Alex’s family in San Francisco).  It was at that earlier Christmas Eve that JW and his brother Mike treated their Papa, their Uncle Ken, their sister and well as their Dad to a Redskins game for Christmas.  Actually, it was John’s Dad’s first Redskins game and tailgating experience at Fedex Field.  Some memories from that game:

• The Redskins actually winning, beating the Giants 35-20 and thus securing a wild card playoff spot – beating Tampa Bay in the subsequent first playoff round, only to lose to Seattle in the second;

• The guys actually springing for an “Orange” parking pass so that their Papa didn’t have to walk that far to the stadium;

• Everyone being concerned for Uncle Ken since he was wearing a Giants cap – thus he was always escorted to the restroom;

• Papa being especially interested in using the field glasses when the cheerleaders were on the field; and

• Everyone (including three 6’ + guys) creating a protective phalanx around Papa when it came time to leave so as to ensure he would not be knocked down by the bustling crowd!

This year's Christmas Eve game, of course, was different with neither JW nor Papa able to be there with us.  It was also different in another couple of ways.  First of all, as indicated in the photo to the right, the very seats we sat in during the Christmas Eve 2005 game no longer exist; what with Dan Snyder having torn them out after coming to the realization that the seats were so undesirable, he could not even sell them to the 15,000 or so fans on a waiting list for season tickets. Even more importantly, since 2005, the quality of our tailgating has increased tremendously.  For that prior Christmas Eve game, all we had were a couple of six packs and a bag or two of chips with everyone standing around the rear bumper of the car.  This year (click on the photo below to access an album for Christmas Eve 2011), in addition to having a cooler-full of beer, some chairs and a table, along with a grill, a canopy and a corn hole game, we also had epicurean delights to include cheese and crackers, Italian sausage and potatoes, as well as “antipasto on a stick,” all followed by some good Irish whiskey and an excellent cigar and then some post-game hot chocolate and homemade cranberry nut-bread.  When comparing the difference in quality between the two tailgating events, John’s sis aptly pointed out that it was all due to the addition of John’s mom to the happening, she being absent from the 2005 experience.

Oh yea, we also had the fond memories of the 2005 Christmas Eve experience to keep us warm from the biting wind in the parking lot this year.  Thanks, for the memories John – and is it true that in heaven the Redskins never lose?

Memories of Christmas Eve Past

True Motivation in Life

"Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first and lessons later." During life, different things keep us motivated to finish the test. I recently returned from a long DoD professional course which took me out of the local area for the last couple of months. During that course, days were long and testing was complex and tedious. However, there were two things pinned up to the wall of my small, bland governmental colored cubicle which motivated me through the toughest of times. Those two items were a picture of Ariana and a copy of John's professional obituary.

A great fond memory of John comes from the Summer of 2006. For the 4th of July celebration, we took the jeep out to Reston for a party there followed by some cheesy neighborhood fireworks which obtained the award for least amount of traffic after a fireworks show in the DC area. During that night, we got into a conversation about my recent experiences in Iraq, and John expressed a sentiment which was usually not expressed between siblings, especially those who fought constantly about who got dibbs on the top bunk bed when we were growing up. The sentiment he expressed was how very proud he was of me. I still remember that conversation vividly, since those words are not uttered as much as they should be. I see it as very fitting that he inspired and motivated me through my professional challenges and accomplishments in the last four years.

The symbol of a small piece of paper tacked to a cubicle wall summed up a large motivation in my life. Looking back, I never took the opportunity to express how proud I was of him and everything he did for me. But, who would ever do that to a big brother? He was the older, more experienced one. But now I got to play catch up. This one piece of paper was my way to tell him in a small way of how proud I am and continue to be of him.

Sort of like parents creating a blog and memorial fund in his memory.

John's Global Memorial Fund

For the next several years, John's parents have decided to attempt to give a more global impact to JW's legacy while maintaining the heretofore twofold focus of the fund: youth and technology. This will be accomplished by creating a fund to support the World Movement for Democracy, a global network of democrats, including activists, practitioners, academics, policy makers, and funders, who have come together to cooperate in the promotion of democracy.  More details on his fund can be found here.

We've established a goal of raising $25,000 by the time of the Assembly in October 2012.  To date, from family and friends, over $21,000 has been pledged and raised.  For those interested in assisting in furthering John's legacy, and helping achieve this goal, tax-deductible contributions can be made to the National Endowment for Democracy and mailed to:

John William Leonard Memorial Fund
c/o World Movement for Democracy
National Endowment for Democracy
1025 F St., NW, Suite 800
Washington, DC 20004

John's Continuing Presence

To recognize JW's continuing presence in the lives of so many people, to include a young boy who was merely an infant when JW died, see this beautiful blog post by John's sister-in-law.

The Warmth of a Brother's Love

In what may become a Thanksgiving tradition, John's mom presented John's sister with the latest in a series of quilts made, in part, out of remnants of John's clothes.  The latest outcome of countless hours of labor and love on the part of John's mom is an Irish quilt with shamrocks and the following Irish blessing in the middle:

May you always have ...

Walls for the wind,

A roof for the rain,

Tea beside the fire,

Laughter to cheer you

And those you love near you.

As you'll see when you click on the below picture in order to see all the photos in the special album, the shirt that JW had on in the above brother/sister photo taken in Dublin on St. Patrick's Day, 2005 is now an integral part of the quilt.

The Warmth of a Brother

In addition, all of John's mom's quilts from the past several years can be seen below.

When I Call a Name

For the first time the other night, I heard one of the songs (actually a spoken piece) from the Vin Scelsa broadcast of April 7, 2007, which I have always considered a Requiem for John.  The music is When I Call a Name and only now did I realize that it is from the opening scenes of a 2005 film, Me and You and Everyone We Know.  The lyrics somehow seem apropos and can be found below the link to the song on YouTube.




she: if you really love me, let's make a vow.
right here, together, right now. okay?

he: okay

she: alright, repeat after me. i'm gonna be free.

he: i'm gonna be free.

she: and i'm gonna be brave.

he: i'm gonna be brave.

she: good. i'm gonna live each day as if it were my last.

he: oh, that's good.

she: you like that?

he: yeah

she: say it.

he: i'm gonna live each day as if it were my last.

she: fantastically.

he: fantastically.

she: courageously.

he: courageously.

she: with grace.

he: with grace.

she: and in the dark of the night...

he: and it does get dark.

she: when i call a name

he: when i call a name

she: it'll be your name... what's your name?

he: nevermind.

she: let's go. say it.

he: let's go.

she: everywhere.

he: everyhere.

she: even though

he: even though

she: we're scared.

he: we're scared.

she: cause it's life.

he: it's life.

she: and it's happening. it's really really happening, right now...

The Leonard Guys

Thanks to Adel from John's Dad's office for the photo that so expertly captured the three Leonard guys.

Still John's Town

Recall this earlier post regarding John's Mom's and Dad's taste of being DC residents like John, albeit for only a month.

Well, for almost 2 months now, John's Mom and Dad have become full time DC residents, at least during the work week with weekends still spent in beautiful Southern Maryland.  Having tired of the daily 120 mile round-trip commute, and taking advantage of John's Mom's recent retirement, John's parents have rented a small apartment in the District -- specifically in the Adams Morgan neighborhood. 

Adams Morgan, of course, is where John purchased his one and only home, a condominium on the first floor of an almost 100-year-old apartment building on Belmont Rd. (see photo to left).  John had great plans for his place and really enjoyed living in the District.

So the obvious question is, did John's Mom and Dad choose a place in Adams Morgan just 4 blocks from Belmont Road because of or in spite of the connection to John?  As always, the answer entails a little of both.

First of all, John's parents did not set out looking for a place in Adams Morgan.  It just turned out that the first place they found that piqued their interest was located there.  As such, the question then became whether the fact that the apartment was located in Adams Morgan served to disqualify it from consideration due to its connection to John?

There, of course, were pros and cons both ways.  John's parents have many positive memories of visiting John there -- to include going to many of the diverse eateries in the neighborhood.  At the same time, there are more painful memories as well such as packing up his condominium after his death.  But the bottom line is that many of the same things that attracted John to the neighborhood attracted his parents -- like son, like parent. 

So now when they walk the area, they are struck by the good as well as the bad, usually unexpectedly; such as stumbling upon a small hole in the wall where they shared a meal or similarly stumbling upon the EMT Station from which the ambulance was dispatched to take him to the hospital or the pharmacy where he went after being discharged from the hospital to fill his prescriptions just hours before his death. This is not only John's town, but his neighborhood as well, and that's what is ultimately good about it.

A Living Memorial

This post from several years ago, tells the background of JW's memorial which consists of a bench under some cherry trees in a garden with a precipice. It was created as a fitting spot from which to pay tribute to John's spirit.

The below picture taken this summer captures the essence of the memorial. John's dad is sitting on the bench with John's niece, Ariana. She is being told one of the many stories of her Uncle Johnny that she will continue to hear for many years to come. Together, they are perfectly protected by the shade of the cherry trees. It is truly a living memorial.




How much this memorial has come alive over the past several years is depicted in the below comparative shots.